💬 morning, I'm getting ready to fast. I'm eating my crackers, eat my, eat my bananas. And I get a little bling. I'm like, Oh, that's a nice ride. It's a nice ride. I can do that. I can do that. And then I get up in the whip. I'm rolling up there. I'm messaging them. I'm like, yo, I'm coming. Y'all had a little little little hole up. As I'm getting closer, I realized,
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❓ Now let me say, I said a gate. Let me tell y'all about this house real quick. This house is one of the many mansions in the hills, right?
💬 heated right now. And she was like, I'm sorry. I was like, oh, no, you ain't gonna get me with
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📜 Full Transcript
[0.0s]SPEAKER_01:Alright, it's time for an uber confessional. So look, every now and then, when I'm driving uber or Lyft or what have you, sometimes I'm calling people shenanigans. And I really forgot how much dirt that those of us who do rideshare trying to just help the world, we get calling people and being people like, you know, their, their assistance in crime, their accomplices. Sometimes I'm the getaway car. And you know what? I'm sick of it. Like just now, I wake up in the
[39.7s]SPEAKER_00:morning, I'm getting ready to fast. I'm eating my crackers, eat my, eat my bananas. And I get a little bling. I'm like, Oh, that's a nice ride. It's a nice ride. I can do that. I can do that. And then I get up in the whip. I'm rolling up there. I'm messaging them. I'm like, yo, I'm coming. Y'all had a little little little hole up. As I'm getting closer, I realized,
[65.4s]SPEAKER_01:oh, the person's icon like where they're at their location. It's not at the address. I'm like, okay, you know, it was an old person. That's what I was gonna happen. I get it. I get it. If I want to, they probably want to dialysis. I get it. I get it. So I roll up. I look out there and I'm like, yeah, it's already weird because I see not one, not two, not three, but I see four cars in the driveway. You're telling me that there are four vehicles here and between four vehicles, there's not one person to take this old person to dialysis. Not one. All right. This is already fishy. So I can clearly see the person's in this house. They're not down the street that so I call myself. I'm pulling up in front of the house kind of slow and then I'm kind of moving to the edge of the house. I'm like, I'm gonna see something. And then I see this little light moving in the tree. I was like, let me see the icon. I kind of like moving. I'm like, oh, oh, they're trying to get me. I don't know. I'll roll up with y'all. So I started moving and I see the light like trying to wave me down. I was like, oh, let's see what's happening. And then I see this little girl. She's inside the gate. Now let me say, I said a gate. Let me tell y'all about this house real quick. This house is one of the many mansions in the hills, right? And like actually not like in the woods of Conyers. You roll for one. It's like, oh, well, y'all took the Bel Air mansion and just put it in the woods of Georgia. All right. This is a million dollar home. For sure. For sure. A million dollar house. For sure. For sure. Waving me down. I'm like, you ain't gonna get me. So I start moving a little fast.
[193.9s]SPEAKER_00:Oh, it's the child. Hold up, child. I pulled back up to the front of the gate. She get in the car. I'm like, Lonnie. She's like, yeah. I was like, oh, this is a baby. I was like, excuse me, miss. Fasting starting now. I was like, excuse me, miss. You don't mind me asking. Am I personally driving you from your secret mission? Are you escaping right now? He said, yeah. I was like, are you in trouble? No. Is your boyfriend home? I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. How old is you? She said, I said, as a parent, that's why
[255.3s]SPEAKER_01:as a parent, I have to admit you got my heart all kinds of twisted right now. Like my heart is
[260.6s]SPEAKER_00:heated right now. And she was like, I'm sorry. I was like, oh, no, you ain't gonna get me with
[271.3s]SPEAKER_01:you. If you were sorry, you would have been sorry before you were sneaking out of the house.
[276.9s]SPEAKER_00:Where am I taking you to? She was like, I was like, oh, how old is your boyfriend? She said, he's 16. I was like, oh, god. I was like, y'all so young. Was y'all in there? She was like, oh, no, I'm too young for that. That's good. That's good. You shouldn't be sneaking out the house, though. Am I sneaking you back into your house? She was like, yeah. I said,
[312.5s]SPEAKER_01:so I'm driving her. I'm rolling back. I was like, you're the youngest, ain't you? She was like, no, I'm the middle child. I was like, then he the youngest. He's like, no, we're both middle. Broke my heart. Couldn't believe it.