PXL_20250812_204218292 — Barkley Corpus

[2.1s] SPEAKER_00: Alright, the name of the game is, he's perfect in every way. So, the way it works is, I want you to think about your dream guy. This guy has no flaws, everything is perfect. The way your momma loves him, he's like, this is the perfect man I once was, my man. You love my momma, your friends like him just the right amount, you love him, everything is great. The way he feels is great, the way he thinks is great, everything is perfect. Alright, but there's one problem. I just want you to add, I'm going to put the butt in there. You just say whether it's a yes or a no. Okay, yes to marrying him, no to be like, hey I can't do it. Alright, so he's perfect in every way, but he's average looking. I mean, you're going to any room, you're going to any room and half the dudes look better than your guy. Alright, cool cool. He's perfect in every way, but he cheats. He's perfect in every way, but he doesn't care about your career.

[60.0s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[61.3s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he doesn't want to be a father.

[64.0s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[65.3s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he never makes you laugh.

[69.4s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[71.0s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he can't cook. He's perfect in every way, but he has a female bestie. That's like his best friend.

[82.5s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right. She's going to be my bestie too.

[85.8s] SPEAKER_00: There we go. Perfect in every way, but he's a virgin. So you don't know? He just said, girl I saved myself for you.

[101.2s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're going to rock with it.

[103.1s] SPEAKER_00: We're going to rock with it?

[103.8s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're going to rock with it.

[104.7s] SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool cool. He's perfect in every way, every single way. But he's attended two ditty parties in the last two years.

[112.0s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[112.9s] SPEAKER_00: Nope, can't do it. Alright, he's perfect in every way, but you think that he's below average smart. You're like, average person, you're a little bit, a little bit less smart than them. Can't do it. He's perfect in every way, but he is 25 years older than you. We can do that perfect in every way, but he cannot physically satisfy you. He's perfect in every way, but he doesn't go to the gym consistently. He's perfect in every way, but he actively runs his own business.

[162.0s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

[164.0s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he's been intimate with a girl that you know.

[169.6s] SPEAKER_01: She's my friend or I just know it.

[171.4s] SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's perfect in every way, so you can pick that. I'm just saying this is a girl that you know. He's perfect in every way, but he went to jail for taking $100,000 from a nonprofit. He's perfect in every way, but he can't save money. He's perfect in every way, but he kisses his mom on the mouth. Just the kiss on the mouth, you're like, everything else is perfect, but that kiss on the mouth, I'm dead, so can't do it.

[203.6s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that kiss is telling us a little bit more.

[206.3s] SPEAKER_00: Alright. He's perfect in every way, but he is an accomplished sniper. He's got like 30 confirmed kills. He's nice, really.

[215.5s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're good.

[216.0s] SPEAKER_00: We're good? Yeah. He's perfect in every way, but he takes expensive gifts from women.

[228.8s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

[231.4s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but his ex was famous.

[235.9s] SPEAKER_01: That's fine, yeah.

[238.1s] SPEAKER_00: He can't admit when he's wrong.

[239.7s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[241.6s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he's a celebrity masseuse.

[248.9s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[250.8s] SPEAKER_00: No, I can't do that one.

[251.9s] SPEAKER_01: I'm cool on that one.

[253.8s] SPEAKER_00: You said you'll be mad.

[255.1s] SPEAKER_01: I said I'm cool on that one.

[256.3s] SPEAKER_00: I'm cool on that one.

[257.3s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's fine.

[258.8s] SPEAKER_00: Alright. He's perfect in every way, but he has a pet that sleeps in the bed with him.

[263.1s] SPEAKER_01: No.

[265.2s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way. He's got a little dog that just likes to be in the bed.

[268.3s] SPEAKER_01: I got a dog, too. She don't get on my bed.

[270.6s] SPEAKER_00: Alright. He's perfect in every way, but he's a famous actor who's always typecasted as a promiscuous kind of a horish guy.

[282.9s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's fine. He's just asking.

[287.5s] SPEAKER_00: He's perfect in every way, but he has promiscuous friends.

[292.3s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because he's perfect. I don't care about his friends. He's very good. Perfect.

[295.7s] SPEAKER_00: No problem. No problem. He's perfect in every way. Everywhere. But he goes to the club every week without fail, with or without you.

[304.7s] SPEAKER_01: Nope. Nope, he can't go to the club. Every week, with or without fail?

[309.6s] SPEAKER_00: With or without you, without fail.

[311.9s] SPEAKER_01: You ever see that video that they said the people who go to the club every week is like the pizza rolls that are in the freezer. You know they're going to be there, but you want that special treat where your parents take you out to eat and they surprise you and they take you to Benihana, you know, back in the day, Red Lobster, something like that. Yeah, you get the pizza rolls and now we can eat them.

[328.2s] SPEAKER_00: Oh, you just reminded me that back in the day Red Lobster was like the, hey, we going out.

[333.0s] SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

[333.6s] SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying. Hey, you right, bro.

[335.4s] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.

[336.7s] SPEAKER_00: But damn, I get the point you make.

[338.1s] SPEAKER_01: Exactly. It's always, there's nothing, you're not special. You're always in the fridge. Yeah. You're always there in the freezer. We know you're going to be there in that senior section.

[348.8s] SPEAKER_00: Well, look, Miss Joya, do you have any social media you want to shout out or anything?

[354.6s] SPEAKER_01: My social media is Bundle of Joya underscore.

[359.8s] SPEAKER_00: That's cute. That's cute. Bundle of Joya.

[362.9s] SPEAKER_01: Bundle of Joya. All right. Well, thank you, Miss Joya. Thank you.

[366.9s] SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait. Can you do me one favor? Sure. Can you say 2-1-2 the beat real cute?

[371.4s] SPEAKER_01: 2-1-2 the beat.

[373.4s] SPEAKER_00: All right. Do it again.

[375.2s] SPEAKER_01: 2-1-2 the beat.

[378.0s] SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Thank you. And we're out, y'all. We're out.

📚 Barkley Corpus

📁 PXL_20250812_204218292